I was chatting with some friends a few weeks back and someone brought up a thought provoking idea about relationships and marriage:
"We overvalue "finding the one" and undervalue the fact that it doesn't so much matter who the one is, it's more about putting in the work required for a great relationship, regardless of who the other person is."
I'll be the first to admit: it's a lot harder to do this in practice with oneself... I've been trying to find the one for 10 years! lol
Anyways, I think this thought has value not just with relationships but other thigns in life:
- We wait to find "the perfect idea" for our business. We never get that perfect idea so we never start a business. However, speaking with business owners, the idea actually matters less, it's more about the execution.
- Whenever someone asks me for career advice, I first get them to step back and re-evaluate what they want. I think this is a useful step; however, I personally take this to the extreme where I overanalyze "what should I do with my life?" A more useful strategy might be to think it through BUT THEN MAKE A DECISION AND COMMIT. And then iterate from there.
We (society, culturally) seem to have an affinity for "the brilliant scientist who had a lightbulb moment and changed the world" vs. seeing all the grunt work that has to be put in to make something succeed. This is especiallly the case for perfectionist like myself. We are searching for the PERFECT solution.
Written: November 18, 2020