I saw a tweet by Nir Eyal the other day:
It got me thinking, "Why don't we have daily, weekly routines to nurture the relationships in our lives?" 🤔
I think I could go on living life without driving a car if I really needed to. And, frankly, I don't really need teeth. I love Booster Juice. But having to live life without the people you care about? 😳Umm, no thanks.
I think some people might suggest that family dinners are the silver bullet to this. But idk man... My experience is that most people are tired out from the workday and you really only are talking about surface level 💩.
Here are two routines that I suggest you implement into your life:
Roger Kirkness' Family Meeting
- Link here
- Weekly meeting where they discuss how the week went, what was challenging, what you are looking forward to in the upcoming week, etc.
- I like this bc it creates "mini conflicts". Rather than having a HUGE blow up bc you haven't felt comfortable sharing your feelings and have suppressed negative emotion for the 3 months, you have these mini conflicts every week where you put things out on the table.
Chris Grouchy weekly partner sync
- He got this from Kevin Rose who was on Tim Ferriss’ podcast
- Four questions, once per week:
- What I’ve be doing well at recently?
- Where I’ve dropped the ball recently?
- What the other is doing well on?
- What I’d like to see more of?
Jon Bostock's Rose Thorn Bud
- From JB's new book The Elephant's Dilemma
- At dinner time, everyone in his family (him, wife and kids) says:
- Rose 🌹— something positive from the day
- Bud 🌺— something they are looking forward to in the future
- Thorn 🥀— a challenge they ran into or something difficult from the day
- I've modified this in 2 ways for my family
- We do Rose THORN Bud (rather than Thorn last). Reason being I'd rather leave off on something positive we are looking forward (Bud) to than something that's bugging them (Thorn).
- Every night before we go to bed we send Rose Thorn Bud into our group family chat
I spoke with Kyle Tymo a few months back and he said something that has stuck with me since then. It was something like, "I figured out life, Cam. Relationships are all that matters." So put systems and routines in place so you protect what matters.
PS: This assumes you aren't a psychopath. If you are, this might not be good advice. 🙃
Written: August 9, 2020